This is the UK blog of a 34 year old man from Sussex who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis last year, charting his attempts to get on with life, keep working, stay married and avoid being eaten by his Border Collie puppy.

Friday, 14 March 2008


Usually, pain is caused when an injury site sends a signal along nerves to your brain and the pain centres contained therein. Pain killers, including opiates, work by blocking the transmission of this signal or at least degrading it significantly. However, there is a type of pain that is generated in the brain and not the body; it may *feel at though some part of your body is in pain but that's an illusion. It is all, quite literally, in your head. Painkillers can't block this pain and there is one class of drugs available (even on the NHS) to tackle this 'neuropathic' pain. The side effects are unenvieable.

I've had neuropathic pain before - usually its been the sensation of having a compass needle driven through the pads of my fingers. I have found, thankfully, that cannabis can keep a lock on it although I have to smoke pretty much constantly as the effects are only 10-15 minutes in this regard. My doctor has advised that if pot does the trick, stick with that as the prescription drugs are nasty.

Yesterday I had a really awful fluctuation in this pain symptom and my hands were wracked. I also manifested pain in my feet. Low on pot, i went through a few days worth in an evening in an attempt to dull this sensation. It worked, up to a point, but in the end I had to get really really drunk - not to dull the pain as in this regard, alcohol is a conventional painkiller, but to allow myself to become easily distractable so that my mind wouldn't remain focussed on what was happening to me. It worked but was the least satisfying drunk I think I've ever tied on....

Yesterday was, therefore, a bit of a shit day

Monday, 3 March 2008

Dazed and Confused

Today I've been really befuddled and terribly easily distracted. This hasn't helped with work but has helped me relate better to my hyperactive, ADD puppy. I don't know if this is a new symptom, a predictable cannabis side effect, a spin-off from the Baclofen or something more benign and unimportant. I have only felt this way, and suffered the nauseating dizziness, since starting in on the muscle relaxants....

That would be annoying as they really help my foot/walking but don't help the whole balance or work thing. Its like being seasick!

Half way there...

Okay, I'm about 20 pages into the DLA form. My PC has packed in so I need to jerry-rig a printer to spool off the supplemental material (lists of Consultants, mostly) and then crack on with the other half.

Its a bleak form focusing, naturally (I guess) on the negatives of your condition in turgid detail ('Just how fucked are you? How many times a day do you need help wiping your arse?' - these are the questions you become depressingly accustomed to when you become a cripple). Luckilly I trained as a lawyer so can handle Offical Bollocks Speak without wanting to blow my own head off - I do feel sorry for other people faced with this shit, though. I understand why its set up like this - to deter chancers/scammers and some legit applicants to keep the cost down - but it still sucks bigtime when you find yourself on the consumer end of it!